Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Landlord?

Investing in real estate is something that everyone with the means considers at some point in their lives. This is especially true in the current climate since investing in any new-high stock market seems risky and defaulting to real estate appears to be a viable option.

Having a hard asset is seen by most investors as a way to diversify from the stock markets. Still, to do so, it is essential to know if you are the type of person to handle being a landlord. Here is some guidance to follow before dipping your toes into the real estate market with a rental property:

Run the numbers

There is no point getting involved in the rental game if the numbers don’t make any sense. Having cash will make the whole process run smoother and likely get you a discount on the property you are buying. Sellers love avoiding banks, speeding up the process, and cutting off a good chunk of fees. Work out what your costs are going to be – taxes, insurance, any mortgage, charges the landlord is supposed to cover – and make sure that the rental income you will be bringing in supports the decision. Especially when it comes to . . .

Have a savings backup

This should read “do not throw all your money into the rental property,” leaving you broke when – and it will be a when and not an if – something terrible happens. Having a cushion is vital – especially as these bad things always tend to occur in the first year when improvements need to be made, or something just fails in general. That old water heater is bound to give up at some point, and it is going to be up to you to replace it to keep your tenants happy, and speaking of keeping the tenants happy . . .

Are you up for the job

Being a landlord is both a job and a responsibility. Hiring a property manager is fine, but that is a costly expense if being the landlord is something you have the time, the patience, and the skills. Being handy is a big advantage, too, as it means you have to hire less help to take on the various maintenance tasks that crop up. However, knowing how to fix a small plumbing problem or put up a fence is not the only area of expertise required. This is especially true if you own a multi-family rental property where being the voice of reason in an argument between tenants to keep the peace is vitally important.

Will the market support your investment

Think carefully about where to invest in a rental house and study real estate before taking the plunge. Knowing where to buy – and then what to charge in rent – is a huge part of being a successful landlord. Some areas are full of rentals, and the market may be too competitive to make inroads without undervaluing the lease. In contrast, others – especially in rural areas – might not have the interest you need to get the money you need. Also, while student rentals are fairly easy to lease, you may rather have loyal tenants who are not on the edge of throwing a party every weekend.

Look for something that will increase in value

If real estate investing was as cut and dry as it sounds, then everyone would have rental properties in the right areas. Anything from changing demographics to the opening or closing of the right industry in an area can swing a great real estate rental investment into a bad one overnight. Betting on economic growth – be it of a town or even a part of a town – is risky. Still, there are huge benefits long term if a house increases in value while you keep renting it out.

Article by Vital Guidance

Making Sacrifices Or Taking Risks To Build Unity

I read an article about a big box retail store in my hometown of Philadelphia ransacked from rioting. A protest of another recent tragic police shooting spawned the riot. The article went on to describe the chaos that ensued around the city. I then thought to myself, “not again!”

A feeling of deep sorrow came over me. I started asking myself, “How has America come to this?” Why does it feel as if we are so divided as a people? Are we not better than this? Have we not come further than this? We are supposed to be the home of the “free and the brave.” We are one of the most diverse nations in the world. How can this be happening? Where is God in all of this? Is He just looking down at us in disappointment? Some may even ask, is He there at all?

Later that same evening, I was reading the book of Nehemiah in the Bible. Nehemiah was the cupbearer for the king of Persia. The cupbearer would test the wine before the king drank it to ensure it was not poisonous. In those days, this was a prestigious position.

Nehemiah was very close to the king and went with him everywhere. He had to advise the king and converse with him frequently. He was a man of influence and culture. Nehemiah was also a Jewish man and was far from his homeland of Jerusalem.

One day his brother Hanani came to visit from Jerusalem. Nehemiah asked his brother how things were in his homeland. Hanani went on to tell him how the city was in shambles. There was only a remanent of people left, and much of the once-great city was in ruins. These were God’s chosen people living in poverty and destruction from the hand of its enemies.

Extreme sorrow came over Nehemiah from this news. Nehemiah then said, “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days, I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.” (New International Version, Nehemiah 1:4).

Why did he even care? He was in a prestigious position in a land far away. He had all the comforts of life and protection of the palace of the king. If he did care, why was he not outraged by this? Why did he not blame his people for letting this happen? Why did he not curse Jerusalem’s enemies? Why did he not curse God for letting this happen to his chosen people? Instead, he wept and prayed. What Nehemiah did next was even more surprising.

He started his prayer with praise to God. He said, “Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love… (Nehemiah 1:5).” He then went on to ask God for forgiveness for his people. Much of the destruction that came upon them was because they had rebelled against God and made poor decisions. He asked God to have mercy on them, as he had promised. Finally, Nehemiah asked God for favor with the king so that he could help his nation.

In those days, going to the king for a request such as this would be very risky, especially in his position. He would have to leave his post for an extended period and would require resources from the king for this project. Nehemiah was willing to risk it all to help his people. To his relief, the king responded with support, and Nehemiah was successful in his endeavors to help Jerusalem rebuild.

God came through with his promise to His people through the hands and heart of Nehemiah. What a great lesson for us to learn from Nehemiah. Our nation is not in complete ruins, but it is in turmoil. We could get angry at our politicians, the system, the mistakes we have made in the past or present, a group of people, or even God. We could also follow Nehemiah’s example and weep, pray, and take action to help our brothers and sisters, even when it means making significant sacrifices or taking risks.

We are one people created by God. He made us for love and to do His work. If we all acted like Nehemiah, there could be peace and unity in our nation. With God’s help, this is what is possible for America. Let us unite as “One Nation, under God.”

Rich Foster, Life Management Advisor at Vital Guidance

Making Sacrifices Or Taking Risks To Build Unity

I read an article about a big box retail store in my hometown of Philadelphia ransacked from rioting. A protest of another recent tragic police shooting spawned the riot. The article went on to describe the chaos that ensued around the city. I then thought to myself, “not again!”

A feeling of deep sorrow came over me. I started asking myself, “How has America come to this?” Why does it feel as if we are so divided as a people? Are we not better than this? Have we not come further than this? We are supposed to be the home of the “free and the brave.” We are one of the most diverse nations in the world. How can this be happening? Where is God in all of this? Is He just looking down at us in disappointment? Some may even ask, is He there at all?

Later that same evening, I was reading the book of Nehemiah in the Bible. Nehemiah was the cupbearer for the king of Persia. The cupbearer would test the wine before the king drank it to ensure it was not poisonous. In those days, this was a prestigious position.

Nehemiah was very close to the king and went with him everywhere. He had to advise the king and converse with him frequently. He was a man of influence and culture. Nehemiah was also a Jewish man and was far from his homeland of Jerusalem.

One day his brother Hanani came to visit from Jerusalem. Nehemiah asked his brother how things were in his homeland. Hanani went on to tell him how the city was in shambles. There was only a remanent of people left, and much of the once-great city was in ruins. These were God’s chosen people living in poverty and destruction from the hand of its enemies.

Extreme sorrow came over Nehemiah from this news. Nehemiah then said, “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days, I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.” (New International Version, Nehemiah 1:4).

Why did he even care? He was in a prestigious position in a land far away. He had all the comforts of life and protection of the palace of the king. If he did care, why was he not outraged by this? Why did he not blame his people for letting this happen? Why did he not curse Jerusalem’s enemies? Why did he not curse God for letting this happen to his chosen people? Instead, he wept and prayed. What Nehemiah did next was even more surprising.

He started his prayer with praise to God. He said, “Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love… (Nehemiah 1:5).” He then went on to ask God for forgiveness for his people. Much of the destruction that came upon them was because they had rebelled against God and made poor decisions. He asked God to have mercy on them, as he had promised. Finally, Nehemiah asked God for favor with the king so that he could help his nation.

In those days, going to the king for a request such as this would be very risky, especially in his position. He would have to leave his post for an extended period and would require resources from the king for this project. Nehemiah was willing to risk it all to help his people. To his relief, the king responded with support, and Nehemiah was successful in his endeavors to help Jerusalem rebuild.

God came through with his promise to His people through the hands and heart of Nehemiah. What a great lesson for us to learn from Nehemiah. Our nation is not in complete ruins, but it is in turmoil. We could get angry at our politicians, the system, the mistakes we have made in the past or present, a group of people, or even God. We could also follow Nehemiah’s example and weep, pray, and take action to help our brothers and sisters, even when it means making significant sacrifices or taking risks.

We are one people created by God. He made us for love and to do His work. If we all acted like Nehemiah, there could be peace and unity in our nation. With God’s help, this is what is possible for America. Let us unite as “One Nation, under God.”

Rich Foster, Life Management Advisor at Vital Guidance

Finding Peace In An Out-of-Control World

Recently I was speaking with a widowed woman in her eighties. She has been through many challenging times in her life. Most recently, losing her best friend to a fatal illness, her only adult son is dealing with a drug addiction taking over his life, and she is going through all of this without the companionship and love of her late husband.

You would think a woman in this situation would be overly bitter, frustrated, or even depressed. When I was speaking with her, all I could hear was peace and joy in her voice. It was not the kind of peace that comes from enjoying a nice vacation or relaxing with a hot cup of coffee. It was a peace that circumvented circumstances – The unshakable rock in the middle of a major storm. As I listened to her, all I could think was, “how can I live with peace like this?”

The understatement of the year is, “These are turbulent times.” We all deal with challenges, but many world events are adding significant stress and fear to our lives. Whether we know it or not, we are all looking for ways to find comfort and peace. Do I find peace in a politician or policy? Will I find peace if my portfolio increases in value? Will I find peace if I get that new job or career, or getting a job at all? Will I find peace in my achievements at school, work, or in my community? Will I find peace in the comforts of life? Will I find peace in the love of my family?

The truth is all of these things are great, but at some point, they will let you down. How do we gain the type of peace that circumvents circumstances? It is not reliant on how well our life is going, our status, or our possessions. The Bible says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (New International Version, Philippians 4:4-7).

Focus on some of the keywords in this passage: rejoice, always, rejoice, gentleness, prayer, petition, thanksgiving, peace, and Christ Jesus. It is evident what the Apostle Paul was trying to get across here. The world is an anxious place, and it was even more so in those times. Think about what Paul and the early Christians were going through in this context. Many of them were being persecuted for their faith, even to the point of death. Paul himself was thrown into prison, stripped, beaten, and flogged during his first visit to Philippi (Acts 16:20-24).

Where did Paul’s peace come from? Where did that woman’s peace come from? It is not peace in circumstances, people, or things. It is a peace that transcends understanding. It is a peace that comes only from believing and trusting in Jesus Christ.

Many people think of God as a far-off being looking down at us and waiting to judge us for messing up. Jesus came down from heaven in the form of His creation to take the place of judgment. While on earth, He experienced pain, suffering, ridicule, poverty, and injustice that we cannot fathom.

Jesus loved us so much, even to the point of death. He did this willingly so we could have the chance to have a relationship with Him and experience indescribable joy and peace. All we must do is trust in Him and know He is in control.

It is ok to cry out to God and give Him all your cares. “Cast all of your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) When the world around you feels like it is spinning out of control, let Jesus be your “Solid Rock.”

 

Richard Foster, Life Management Advisor at Vital Guidance

Vital Tips For Helping Your Child Succeed At Home School

Depending on where you live in the US – or in the world for that matter – back to school this year could look very different to normal. While we all hoped that the pandemic would have died down enough by now for normal service to have been resumed, the truth is simply that is not the case. This means your vital guidance for your kids as they adapt to either a fully at-home school semester, or some sort of hybrid system, is going to be even more important now than it was when schools first shutdown back in the spring.

Part of this mentor status is going to be putting your child in a position to succeed in his or her studies. One easy thing to get wrong Is the workspace that they are allocated. It is important to get that workspace in a consistent environment that is away from distractions and that feels like a separate space from where the child would usually watch TV or play video games. This draws a line in the sand as to when it is school time and when it is play time.

The biggest mistake, however, is one that is easily fixable and that is the make-up of your child’s desk.

While sticking your child at the end of the dining room table may seem like a good solution, you will find you get far more productivity out of the school day by having an actual desk. The key here is to make sure the desk and chair setup is the correct height to provide the best learning experience.

According to occupational therapist at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Todd Levy, “If our feet are hanging, it’s not good for circulation, and if they’re able to swing their legs, it can be distracting.  If needed, put a game box or something solid beneath them.”

Levy also notes that being flexible with your child taking breaks to change position is important. This is especially true for younger children who will need vital guidance about how and when to work as they are distracted so easily. Consider using an exercise ball for periods as a seat instead of a traditional desk chair as the extra movement your child gets will keep them more focused while also giving those core muscles a workout. An option for a desk that converts into a standing space is also a good idea if possible as the transitions between sitting and standing will both give them more focus and also make sure their posture isn’t ruined by sitting at a weird angle all day long.

Making school feel like school is important. This includes the desk space but also carries over to other areas. Having an area to store supplies – be they textbooks or crafting items – will make home feel more like school. A backpack is an ideal item for this as you can have them grab it and carry it around the house – or even down the street – at the beginning and end of the day to create the illusion of school while keeping their supplies all in one place.

Cellphone use is a tricky one. The social aspect of school needs to be maintained but have them do this during breaks in the studies rather than giving phone access the entire day. “Have time scheduled and a separate space where students can stay connected with their friends to keep those social connections,” says Levy. “But it’s really important to keep devices that aren’t related to school away from the workspace.”

Other aspects to take into account include the lighting of the space – especially if they are working in a den or basement area – and letting your kids decorate their ‘school’ as they see fit. Making the stand-in study location somewhere they are comfortable – and that they want to visit – will result in fewer arguments over the time they are spending studying over the course of the school year.

Article by Vital Guidance

Finding Your Niche To Make Exercise Fun & Healthy For You

For many people the problem with getting vital exercise into their day is that they simply don’t enjoy the process. The results – better overall physical and mental health – are known to these people, but the suffering and strain that they have to go through during exercise to get those benefits simply aren’t worth it to them. They would rather pass on exercise – be it at home, outside, or at the gym – because the stress and pain of exercise doesn’t justify the outcome.

These people are doing it all wrong.

People tend to get intimidated by what other people consider a good workout to be. There is a prevailing theory that exercise needs to be sweaty, hot, and involve plenty of soreness the next day for it to have been effective. While this might be true for high level athletes who are looking to push-to-fail with their exercises during a preseason to get their fitness to where it needs to be, for most of us a good workout can come without pressing forward to the maximum limits of what our body can handle on a daily basis.

Exercise is mostly productive when you are doing something you enjoy. You should never wake up dreading the workout that is coming later in the day because it will be either too difficult, an activity that you don’t enjoy or – even worse – both of those things. If you aren’t a gym person then don’t trudge to the gym three days a week and squat your way into sadness. Instead, look for a vital mentor to help you find a class or sport that you can have fun with while burning off those calories.

One aspect of this to really think about if you are stuck in an exercise rut is what kind of person you are. A social person is going to hate long runs on their own or hitting the gym at 5am before work when no one else is there. This is exactly the type of person that requires group events or team sports to find their exercise niche. This will automatically make exercise feel less stressful, less of a chore, and generally less awful, and the feeling of dread when working out will be replaced by one of anticipation for the next time to play your way to fitness. The opposite of this is true too, so if you find yourself hating team sports then try hitting the gym, running or something like swimming to keep your fitness up.

The next factor to consider is the intensity and frequency of exercise within your workout program. Stop blasting leg day at the gym three times a week and instead have those monster sessions sprinkled in rarely amongst easier days. Working out to fail every single day – even if it is with different body parts targeted – is just going to make you fall out of love with the whole process as the whole point of those workouts is for them to be hard.

It feels like the more exercise programs have evolved – pushed by advertising and social media showing athletes drenched in sweat – the more anything other than pushing to the limit in a workout feels like less than the optimal thing to do. This simply isn’t true. Crossfit classes are a great example of why this isn’t the best way as people burn out of the style of workout – unless they really, really love it – so fast. Don’t feel like every workout you do to get vital exercise has to be your new ceiling for pain and you will find you have a much better time when it comes to staying fit and healthy with a reduced load in your sessions.

Article by Vital Guidance

Tips For Sellers To Make The Most Of Home Video Presentations

Buying or selling a house in this crazy world is a challenge. Many of the things we took for granted as part of the real estate transaction process have changed in one way or another. One of these is the way that prospective buyers view a house.

It used to be that a few pretty pictures online would be enough work to tempt a buyer into making an initial visit to check out your real estate. Even before Covid-19, however, this had changed to some degree, with buyers increasingly moving towards video footage of their prospective new home to show them if a visit was worth their time. The global pandemic only increased the importance of video, with buyers not wanting to spend time – and potentially risk their health – on properties that are shown in the listings by staged photos only.

As a seller, this can be used to your advantage. A good video presentation of your home will work wonders, with many buyers being wowed enough by that first video impression to have feelings for a home before even walking in the door. Doing the video right isn’t all that difficult, but here are a few tips to help you make the most of your real estate presentation video.

Don’t Be Tricky

No one wants to go to a property and see something that looks nothing like the video. This means that your video should be unedited if at all possible to give an actual and realistic view of the real estate they will be buying. Nothing will break trust between seller and buyer as quickly as a video that has jumped around to show a different layout or that has deliberately glossed over any problems with the property. Do not waste their time and yours by submitting an edited video that creates expectations for the house that cannot be met.

Prepare For Your Recording

While editing out the bad parts of your home to create a jump cut frenzy is a no-no, there is nothing wrong with making your home look its best for your video tour:  know when the sunlight hits your home to show it in its best light; make sure that the home is clutter free and that drapes/curtains/blinds are clean and in the optimal position to show off what your house looks like at its best; and make sure all the light bulbs are working and they give off great lighting in all areas. Spending a little time – and a little money – in getting the staging right for your home tour will get more people wanting to view your real estate in person and increase the chances of a quick sale at (or above) asking price.

Take Your Time

One of the biggest problems with video tours is that the people filming often rush them. A prospective buyer wants to be able to see the real estate in detail without having to slow the frame rate or be constantly pausing the video because the tour is happening too fast. A steady pace is the best bet – one that allows you to control the camera without bouncing and jerking it around (we don’t want to make the buyer sea sick) – being sure to keep equal focus on the things you do and do not like about the home. Nothing is more suspicious than a tour done at the correct pace suddenly speeding up to cover a problem area of the home. Think about what you would like to see – and the speed that you would like to see it at – and use that as a rule of thumb.

Happy house hunting!

 

Article By Vital Guidance

Tips For Sellers To Make The Most Of Home Video Presentations

Buying or selling a house in this crazy world is a challenge. Many of the things we took for granted as part of the real estate transaction process have changed in one way or another. One of these is the way that prospective buyers view a house.

It used to be that a few pretty pictures online would be enough work to tempt a buyer into making an initial visit to check out your real estate. Even before Covid-19, however, this had changed to some degree, with buyers increasingly moving towards video footage of their prospective new home to show them if a visit was worth their time. The global pandemic only increased the importance of video, with buyers not wanting to spend time – and potentially risk their health – on properties that are shown in the listings by staged photos only.

As a seller, this can be used to your advantage. A good video presentation of your home will work wonders, with many buyers being wowed enough by that first video impression to have feelings for a home before even walking in the door. Doing the video right isn’t all that difficult, but here are a few tips to help you make the most of your real estate presentation video.

Don’t Be Tricky

No one wants to go to a property and see something that looks nothing like the video. This means that your video should be unedited if at all possible to give an actual and realistic view of the real estate they will be buying. Nothing will break trust between seller and buyer as quickly as a video that has jumped around to show a different layout or that has deliberately glossed over any problems with the property. Do not waste their time and yours by submitting an edited video that creates expectations for the house that cannot be met.

Prepare For Your Recording

While editing out the bad parts of your home to create a jump cut frenzy is a no-no, there is nothing wrong with making your home look its best for your video tour:  know when the sunlight hits your home to show it in its best light; make sure that the home is clutter free and that drapes/curtains/blinds are clean and in the optimal position to show off what your house looks like at its best; and make sure all the light bulbs are working and they give off great lighting in all areas. Spending a little time – and a little money – in getting the staging right for your home tour will get more people wanting to view your real estate in person and increase the chances of a quick sale at (or above) asking price.

Take Your Time

One of the biggest problems with video tours is that the people filming often rush them. A prospective buyer wants to be able to see the real estate in detail without having to slow the frame rate or be constantly pausing the video because the tour is happening too fast. A steady pace is the best bet – one that allows you to control the camera without bouncing and jerking it around (we don’t want to make the buyer sea sick) – being sure to keep equal focus on the things you do and do not like about the home. Nothing is more suspicious than a tour done at the correct pace suddenly speeding up to cover a problem area of the home. Think about what you would like to see – and the speed that you would like to see it at – and use that as a rule of thumb.

Happy house hunting!

 

Article By Vital Guidance

Wearing A Mask Can Affect Your Workout So Chose Wisely

It appears that for large parts of the country – and large parts of the world – face masks and covering are here to stay for at least the foreseeable future. Masks are worn to help prevent the spread of the Coronavirus by keeping germs from spreading from person to person. This is especially important when people are exercising – and even more so if you are in a gym or another enclosed space – but it is also important to know just how wearing a mask will affect your exercise routine.

When looking for guidance on masks and exercise it is important to know that much of the research is in its formative stages. We have never been put into this position as a community before, so knowing what to do – such as what type of mask to wear, how often it should be changed, and so on – are still questions without definitive answers at this point.

According to a New York Times article by Janet Brody – among a host of other vital research pieces – there is growing evidence that wearing a mask does affect your breathing to some degree. This shouldn’t really be news to anyone who has worn a mask as it is pretty obvious that it is more difficult to breathe as effectively with a mask on.

This has implications for mask wearing when trying to get in your daily exercise. The British Journal of Sports medicine published a piece this month noting that wearing a mask to exercise “comes with issues of potential breathing restriction and discomfort”. This means that according to the same piece, exercise must be planned and thought out in advance to make sure that you are personally “balancing benefits versus possible adverse events.”

These ideas and concepts will obviously vary from person to person and situation to situation. Someone living in a remote and rural area will likely be able to go on a jog through their region with a mask in their pocket and never have to bring it out because of how few people are around. Someone trying to go to the gym in a densely populated neighborhood, however, will need to be masked up the entire time they are at the facility and their need for exercise vs. mask discomfort would be something that would be a real push/pull factor towards working out at all.

One item to note from early research is that masks appear to alter the heart rate of a person exercising. The president and chief science office of the American Council on Exercise, Cedric X. Bryant, notes that wearing a mask seems to increase the heart rate of the wearer by eight to 10 beats per minute. This is with exercise done at the same level of intensity to doing so without a mask. This rate may even increase as intensity increases and the result could be a lightheaded feeling and a quicker level of fatigue then when a mask is not present.

One way to counter this could be to make sure that you have the right mask to work out in. Any type of paper mask should immediately be discarded as these become wet quickly and will have limited to no effectiveness shortly into your workout program. Cloth masks are better, but try to avoid the thicker versions of these masks with more than two layers of fabric as they will cause you to overheat quickly. Neck gaiters are worse at controlling the spread (but better than nothing) and these will be lighter around the face than cloth.

It is also worth watching the development of new mask technologies. The likes of Nike, Adidas, and Under Armor are all putting funding into mask research to come up with masks for athletes and workouts. Choosing the right mask is important to keep everyone safe, but it doesn’t have to be at the expense of your own health.

 

Article by Vital Guidance

Tips To Eliminate Shouting And Make Your Relationships More Peaceful

There are many types of drama that can hurt out vital relationships. This has become especially clear during the Covid-19 lock down where couples, roommates, and families have all had to spend the bulk of their time together, sometimes without any space to get away and decompress.

One of the biggest relationship killers – and thus something that should be avoided at all costs – is shouting and/or yelling during an argument. The problem with this is that for some people it is a natural reaction, almost a way to get the conflict over quickly, while for others that raised voice makes them retreat inside to avoid the conflict and thus not get closer to a solution.

Shouting is toxic and it is damaging, so what should you do if you are one of those people that defaults to this emotion when you find your back against the wall? Here are some tips that will help you avoid shouting matches and help make your vital relationships stronger, happier, and more peaceful than ever before:

Take Deep Breaths

This is likely a technique that you have heard of before, but that is because taking deep, calming breaths is important when you are angry and getting ready to shout. Drawing in a deep breath through your nose – allowing your lungs to fill with air and your chest to rise – before exhaling through your mouth is something that will allow you to literally feel the tension flowing out of your body. Expand on this over time by bringing some breathing exercises into your day for a much more relaxed approach to life.

Stop Talking Immediately

This might be the most difficult technique of all, but it will stop someone hurting a vital relationship with angry words that aren’t really meant. As soon as you find yourself starting to raise your voice, simply cut off the flow. This could be mid-sentence, mid-word, or even mid-syllable. The key is just to stop the frustration from pouring out and it will give you a chance to reevaluate whether what you were about to yell is actually what you really mean. In all likelihood it is not and this pause will give you a chance to change words from hurtful to kindness.

Leave the Argument

This is a good technique, but it has to be done right. There is a big difference between storming out of a room hurling words you don’t mean and simply saying that you need some fresh air and will be back soon. Use that time to get outside and feel the benefit of some fresh air in your lungs while you think about what to say next. One thing to do here is to make yourself study the environment around you as you walk. Notice the air temperature, see what animals are around, and take a look at the kids playing on the street. This method of taking your mind off of the anger and onto something tangible will help calm your anger momentum immediately.

Think About Your Reaction

If you are confronted with a yeller, then the best think you can do is not feed into their behavior. The worst thing to do is to mirror their emotions and engage in the yelling. Nothing good can come from this and the situation will escalate and escalate to the point that a vital relationship could be threatened. Staying calm is the single best thing that you can do without looking like you are being patronizing. It can be hard to show compassion and understanding in these situations – without being agreeable to things you don’t believe – but by doing so you will help resolve the situation far quicker than if you feed into the fire.

 

Article by Vital Guidance