Keep Your Kids Feeling Loved With These Tips

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Children are susceptible to feeling a wide-array of emotions, some great and others painful. They have not fully developed their self-esteem, persona, and social skills.  It is vital to them that the adults in their lives provide the guidance to increase their confidence.

“Our goal is to convey unconditional love through focused attention with clear limits and boundaries that will allow them to tolerate the inevitable breaks in our attention,” Dr. Laura Kauffman, Ph.D., a licensed child psychologist points out.  It might sound difficult but there are ways to make it easier.

Sustain eye contact

You may feel that dividing your attention between your child and some work doesn’t affect your listening but in actuality, it can make your child believe he comes second.  Whenever your child wants to share something with you, put down what you are working on and pay him your full attention. If you can’t put a pause on what you are doing, say so. Tell your child you’ll have to conclude your task before giving him your full attention.

Make a point of asking caring questions

Move beyond cliché questions like “how were classes” and go for the real deal with pointed questions that prove that you invested in the going ons of your kid’s life.  Ask them about a character in their favorite TV show or ask him about a hobby he just picked up. This allows you to gain insight into your kid’s growing personality and creates a bond between you both.

Show affection

Many parents don’t realize how important it is to be affectionate physically. Research by Kathleen M. Krol and Tobias Grossmann show that breastfeeding promotes bonding between mother and child. This occurs because of the contact between both of them, proving the necessity for physical contact in building attachment. Healthy attachment allows the child to develop a properly functioning sense of self. Child trends, a non-profit research organization correlates warmth and affection between a parent and a child with fewer psychological and behavioural problems.

Enjoy family meals

Studies point at the benefits of having family meals regularly. Sharing dinner together is a wonderful opportunity to spend uninterrupted time together. Everyone has got to eat in the day, so this is an activity you can train yourself and your children to see as being for enjoying each other’s company. Make sure mealtimes are device-free to maximize the interaction

Treat them with respect

It is so easy to ignore the fact that though they’re still growing, children are people, too. According to Tamara Hill, MS, a therapist specializing in child and adolescent behavioural and mood disorders: Showing them respect doesn’t only mean refraining from swearing at them or being rude. Though both are necessary to a healthy relationship, respect goes beyond that. It includes listening to them and appreciating their inputs so they can feel that they “make sense”. This allows them to learn reasoning and decision making.

Article by Vital Guidance

Five Ways To Develop and Keep A Healthy Gut

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In the past, our digestive system was considered a relatively uncomplicated body system. But increase research on the topic in the past two decades has elucidated an incredibly complex system and how vital it is to our well-being.

Studies show that there are positive links between gut health and the immune system. Gut microbiome refers to the microorganisms that live in our intestines. Each person has about 300 to 500 different species of bacteria in their alimentary canal. Though some of these organisms are harmful, a lot of them are beneficial and even necessary to a healthy body.

Avoid a high-sugar or processed diet

Food that is processed and includes added sugars can reduce the number of useful bacteria in the gut. This imbalance can result in increased sugar cravings which becomes a cycle of gut damaging behavior.  To avoid this, abandon foods that are canned and opt for fresh foods. Also eat carbohydrates that do not come with a mix of ingredients and are not from a factory. Eating plenty of lean protein and foods with a lot of fiber contributes to a healthy gut microbiome.

Get sufficient sleep

Not having enough sleep or restful sleep can negatively impact our gut health. Sleep allows your body to recover from microscopic accidents that occur during waking hours. Try to prioritize sleep and get at least 7-8hrs a day. Not only does sleep affect your bowel but the reverse is also the case. According to a 2017 National Sleep Foundation survey, 37% of US adults report their sleep quality is poor. Melatonin, a sleep hormone is produced in the brain. In the gut, an amino acid known as tryptophan can be converted into melatonin and help regulate sleep. Unfortunately, this back-up-plan requires a healthy gut.

Stay hydrated

Water is one of the key ingredients to a properly functioning gut. Drinking plenty of water has been shown to have a beneficial effect on the lining of the intestines as well as keeping the “good” bacteria more that the “bad” ones. It also helps to get rid of toxins that could damage the cells in your gut and helps to keep waste soft enough to be easily evacuated from your intestines.

Exercise regularly

Regular exercise has been proven to improve the heart, health, and promote weight loss or maintenance. Researcher Bernardo A. Petriz et al. also suggests that exercising may also improve gut health which could in turn assist in controlling obesity. It was discovered that athletes have a larger variety of gut flora than nonathletes. However, athletes ate a different diet from the control group which could account for the differences in their microbiomes.

Avoid smoking

Smoking is one of the worst habits you can pick up.  It negatively affects gut health as well as heart and lung health. In a 2018 research by Savin Z. et al. that was published over a 16-year period, it was found that smoking alters the intestinal environment by relatively increasing the harmful bacteria. These effects may increase the risk of developing conditions like inflammatory bowel disease.

Article by Vital Guidance

Tips For A Healthy Relationship With Your Spouse

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It is easy to be in a relationship but it can be difficult to keep it healthy.  Making things more complex than they ought to be can easily occur.   Often times, Eros is not enough to prevent a relationship from getting unhealthy.

According to Readers Digest, 57 percent of people in unhappy relationships still are powerfully attracted to their partner. It is vital to realize that “love” is just one ingredient in a delicious broth.

Show affection constantly

You can’t love just in your mind. You have to show it tangibly in a language your partner can understand. Physical affection like kissing, holding hands and gentle rubs help to reduce stress, heightens mood and is directly proportional to relationship satisfaction.

Play

Play has always been key to forming a bond.  That’s why our childhood friends can be some of our best friends.   Relationships are nurtured by the connection procured from play. If your partner is not used to this, a little guidance is all it takes. It allows the couple to see each other at their best, their freest. Find fun activities you both can enjoy and infuse some wellness into the relationship. You’ll find novel ways to express yourselves and communicate.

Compromise

The city of love has its laws. There are sacrifices you must make to keep it amazing. Some people play it cautiously and decline opportunities to sacrifice. This is because they forget that without pain, there is no gain. Hence, you have to go through a little pain to make your relationship healthier. Time alone, privacy, the need to have the last say are some of the things you will have to compromise on.

Be respectful

Just because you submit sometimes doesn’t mean that you are a doormat. Respect is the act of choosing to trust and have faith in your partner’s judgement, even though you might not agree with their decision. Being attentive, speaking kindly, just accepting are ways you can show that you love them for who they are. This is wonderful for prolonging health in a relationship.

Use actions to express affection

When you make someone feel like the light in your life, it lights up your life. It keeps the flame of the relationship glowing. Words are nice but actions on top make relationships intensely delicious. Do her laundry, buy her some flowers or take him out to his favourite restaurant.

Stay faithful

There’s almost nothing that cuts a relationship like infidelity. When you cheat on a spouse you desecrate a deep part of the sexual relationship.  When you allow someone else access to a type of intimacy agreed to only be shared by you and your spouse, you break a deeply-held contract. This loss of trust can put your spouse in constant suspicion of you and inability to connect due to resentment and contempt. It’s possible to heal the wound of infidelity but the relationship can never be the same.

Article by Vital Guidance

These 7 Small Changes In Diet Can Have Big Results

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Getting healthy and staying healthy can be a pain in the butt for almost everyone on planet earth, mostly because of the stress we all go through to get to that ‘stunning slim size’. The truth is, being slim doesn’t necessarily mean that one is healthy. You can be taking in foods and performing exercises that are horrible for your body type and health, and the loss of weight could just be your body crying for help.

Eating healthy is one of the best ways to keep you and/or your family healthy. Eating the right foods can be easy, fun, delicious and affordable. It is really all about making the right choices of foods and drinks in order to build an overall healthy dietary pattern.

Small changes in your diets can result in big changes in your health. If you want to get healthy by eating healthy you should incorporate the following steps into your lifestyle.

Switch from sugary drinks to water or unsweetened drinks

Sugary drinks contain a lot of unnecessary calories, by cutting them out of your diet pattern and replacing them with water or unsweetened drinks will reduce the amount of useless calories taken into the body. If you want a little flavour in your drinks, you can add a slice of lime or lemon into your glass of water or even squeeze some orange juice in.

Cut back on solid fats

Foods and snacks that contain solid fats like cakes, cookies, hot dogs, ice cream, etc. should be reduced from your diet.

Eat more lean proteins

Nuts, meat, seafood, fish, eggs, and beans are great examples of items that are in the protein food group. A better choice of proteins that are healthier are the leaner cuts of meat where there is less fat in the meat e.g. turkey breast and chicken breast.

Control your portion size

When you are full, please leave the food on the plate and not inside your stomach. If the temptation is too great, you can prevent it from occurring by using smaller plates. Please note that portion size depends on the gender, age, and activity level of the individual.

Related Article: Personal Nutrition May Be Best For Your Health, Fitness

Fruits, Fruits, Fruits.

Fruits are nutrient-packed foods that help in fighting off diseases while being insanely delicious. Fruits like watermelons, oranges, bananas and pineapples are easily accessible grocery stores as well as fruit stands.  Pineapples are wonderful fruits which are sweet as well as highly nutritious. For many people, they are the go-to fruits for eating healthy.

Vegetables

They might not be the tastiest thing to eat, but they are among the healthiest. Vegetables are important sources of nutrients including potassium, vitamin A, vitamin C, folic acid and fiber. The fiber in vegetables provide a fullness with fewer calories and also aids smooth bowel movement. So, you definitely need to add them to your dietary pattern.

Whole-grain not refined-grain

Switching completely from refined-grain foods to whole-grain or making half of the grains you eat whole-grain improves your diet, which equally improves your health. Instead of white bread, you could eat whole-wheat bread. The same thing for rice, brown rice is way better than white rice.

You don’t have to make a complete change in your eating habits all it once. Research has shown just little changes can lead to big results over time.  Happy eating!

Article by Vital Guidance

How To Win The Home Bidding War Without Breaking The Bank

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Real estate bidding wars are less common than they used to be, but they can still happen. This is especially true in markets homebuyers are desperate to move into, with a bidding war driving up the price of the property much higher than was expected when the first bids were made.

The most effective way to close a deal in your favor when it comes to real estate is by making an all-cash offer. This makes sense, if you can afford it, because it’s a much cleaner process with far fewer hoops to jump through for both the buyer and seller, and it was shown in a study by Redfin that paying all-cash more than triples your chances of being successful. If your battle is starting to look competitive, see if this is an offer you are able to make to seal your new home.

Interestingly, the second most successful strategy as checked by Redfin is a much more personal one that has nothing to do with money changing hands at all. That strategy is to simply write a personal letter to the seller. This is far less effective than the no financing deal, but people in this day and age don’t often feel a connection between buyer and seller. If someone has lived in a house for 20 years or so, they want to know that the person buying the property has some level of respect for it. That is why a well written and well thought out letter can – in some circumstances – tip the scales in your favor when it comes to a real estate purchase. Showing that you care about a house and the person selling it can be a huge deal closer, especially with older home sellers.

The other three metrics tracked by Redfin were all less effective. Waiving a financial contingency – basically protecting the buyer from liability in the event of a sale falling through after a failure to secure a loan – had some traction, but it was a much more effective bidding war strategy a few years ago. This strategy, however, was more effective than both waiving the inspection contingency and conducting a pre-inspection of the property, neither of which had any impact at all on bidding wars won.

What this tells us is that cash is still king and that the personal touch of a letter still holds merit in the world today. It is fascinating that something as simple as a personal note from buyer to seller can still help with real estate buying. Perhaps that is an example we should take into all aspects of our everyday life.

Article by Vital Guidance

Improve Health With Good Family Relationships

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It is common knowledge that good relationships with family are important to overall health and happiness. Thanks to a new study, we may actually have evidence that those relationships are much more vital in keeping us healthy than we knew before.

A recently published study in the Journal of Family Psychology took a wide ranging approach to nailing down the importance of extended family in keeping us healthy. The study looked at nearly 3,000 people – a large case study for such a project – between 1995 and 2014. The average age of the group was close to 45-years-old at the first collection metric.

The study had the group, at three points during that time period, rate the quality of their interactions with their partner and their extended family. The researchers then compared that information with the respondent’s chronic conditions that they had, things ranging in severity from headaches to strokes.

The study then asked a number of questions to ascertain where that person was in life with the vital relationships that were closest to them. Questions in the study were based around their family and love life such as: “Not including your spouse or partner, how often do members of your family criticize you? How much can you rely on your family for help if you have a serious problem?”

The two findings of the study were that people who were suffering from issues within their family and/or extended family tended to have much worse health at that specific time than those people who were getting along well with their family. The study also found – perhaps surprisingly – that there was little to no correlation between people who were struggling with their spouse and health issues.

The result with family came as a shock to no one involved in the study or involved in the psychology of health vs. family relationships.  Lead author Sarah Woods points out that family is for life, while more and more intimate relationships are seen as something that can be transitional in nature. This is a modern take, with people waiting longer to be married and being content on their own perhaps being a reason why the health issues were not seen in people having trouble with their intimate partner.

One thing this should teach everyone is the vital relationship between family and health. Happy, caring families – all the way down to grandparents and cousins – give a person a basis and stability for life. Keep your loved ones close, take care of family, and live a healthier life in the process.

Article by Vital Guidance

Three Estate Planning Myths To Avoid

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Estate planning isn’t the easiest thing to talk or think about. No one wants to have to view their own mortality through the lens of their possessions, but it is something that we should all do in order to make the transition of our estates simpler for those grieving when the time comes.

There are many myths in place when it comes to estate planning. These are myths that can cause problems if people believe in them and don’t have the right mentors in place to help guide us through the process and avoid the sea of misinformation.

Here are three estate planning myths to avoid:

I’m not old enough

It is easy to not consider an estate plan until you are in your 50s and 60s. By this point you may have plenty of assets and plenty of reasons to want those assets to go in the right direction should anything happen to you. It is true, though, that accidents can happen to anyone at any time. The ability to dictate where your assets go – and specifically to give a plan for young children to prosper when the unthinkable happens – means that estate planning needs to happen much earlier in life than most people think.

I don’t have enough stuff

While directing your assets – any assets – is an important part of your estate plan, it is far from the only area that such a plan encompasses. A top-notch estate plan should also include a health care proxy, naming someone you trust to make your medical decisions, and a power of attorney, naming someone that you can trust and rely on to make your financial decisions, should you find yourself unable to do so. Even someone with just a small estate footprint could use an estate plan to appoint these vital mentors to make the right decisions for you and your family in a time of need.

I can do it myself online

Online will services are a way to save money and put some kind of plan in place.  However, the simple fact that you really don’t know how much additional money it will cost you, or your family, when using online documents that may not stand up for anything in the grand scheme of things can be a great risk. Your instructions for your assets, your children, and your own health, may not be legally binding or as well thought out as you would like if you didn’t get an estate planner or an estate planning attorney to help you project what needs to be taken care of.

Do-It-Yourself home projects fail all the time, don’t let that happen here and burden your family for the sake of a few bucks!

Article by Vital Guidance

Limiting Sports Participation May Lead To Better Success

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In an earlier article we looked at how generalization rather than specialization in young athletes can lead to greater success in sports. This generalization allows a child to try different sports and, more importantly, build up and use different muscle groups than they would if they dedicate themselves to just one sport too early.

It is not just specialization though that is causing a rash of injuries and a high degree of burnout in athletes at the youth level. There is also a big problem with the intensity of youth sports in our current athletic climate. This is where children will need your guidance to make the best decisions regarding their body and how much to push at certain ages to become a better player.

An interesting new article by Roni Caryn Rabin titles “Parents Should Limit Sports Participation for Children, Trainers Say,” looks to put some actual figures and data on how much sport children should be playing in any given week.

The basis of the paper, and its key statement – is that a child should only train in their sport an hour for every age of their life in a given week. So, if a child is 8-years-old, then their sporting limit for a week should be eight hours.

This is an interesting concept. It is not one that is going to be easy to implement or one that is likely to gain much initial traction. It does, however, open up a series of talking points about how this general guideline can be turned into vital help to stop kids from burning out to early by simply playing too much sport.

The key message here is that the information, while about children, has to be taken on and put into place by adults. The big worry in the US is that so many children are vying for that college scholarship light at the end of the tunnel that putting any kind of playing time restriction on them at a young age is going to be difficult. The key is to get out of the mindset that more equals better, perhaps spending some of the newly freed up time to work on a different, but equally important, piece of a child’s upbringing is just as good.

At the very least this advice can be used to work out how much structured sport a child should play. There is a big difference between the pressure of being coached and being trained every day compared to just throwing a ball around at home or down at the park. Mental pressure is a huge reason for burnout and the vital guidance of keeping a child on a manageable coaching regime should not be ignored.

Changing a the narrative regarding the intensity of youth sports is never going to be easy, but concepts that target the amount of intense sport a child plays at each age is an excellent starting point.

Article by Vital Guidance

7 Vital Steps To Help You Perform Better At Everything

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The whole area of Sports Psychology and mental health are gaining exponential traction, but it’s surprising at how little is still understood about what Psychology applied to sport is.  This very thing is addressed in the interview below with Mental Performance Coach Richard Dean.

Richard is a London-based practitioner and Senior Associate of the Royal Society of Medicine.  He’s been a mentor for several NFL players, International Cricketers, International Rugby players, and International Soccer players. He has also been involved in six World Championship Boxing fights.

His academic work has been published by:  American Education Research Journal, American Journal of Educational Science, Nova Science Publishers, and Physical Education and Sport Pedagogy Journal.

Richard, welcome to Premier Players and thanks for sharing your work:

A pleasure to be here.

First off, give an insight into some of your experiences:

My work has led to some amazing experiences.  I’ve had the privilege to work in very high-profile, high-octane environments- such as the NFL, ATP World Tour Tennis Finals, in Boxing- World Title Fights; International Test Cricket, World Athletics Championships. Each experience of working with some of the best athletes in the world has been, and continues to be; deeply enriching.

One of my favourite memories was working with a World Title challenging Boxer at the O2 Arena, London. Looking out from the ring at a sea of 20,000 people, and a host of prominent people at ringside- knowing that all eyes in that arena are on your event; thrilling!

Another momentous occasion had me working with an American client who was fighting for an International title in Germany. Everything was stacked up against him, the logistics were difficult, the promoter made everything as hard as possible. And as my role was wider than just performance psychology, I had to deal with it all! I did- and we won! Despite everything being in the opponent’s favor. It was a great victory and we took the Championship to the USA!

Sounds incredible, so what exactly is Sport Psychology?

Sport Psychology looks at the influence that the mind has upon performance. It is proactively working mentally to be better. You don’t need something to ‘fix’ in order to benefit from working mentally!  It is giving people the tools, so that they can apply consistent approaches in the most pressured moments, and providing a framework for dealing with difficult situations.   That is Sport Psychology! It’s about making people more resilient, tougher, and plugged in to playing without distraction or white noise!

I want to get this across- Sport Psychology is NOT just about motivation and powerful speeches and behavior that is intended to rouse. In fact, I would like to assert that most of the time it is CATEGORICALLY not about that!

Applying specific, focused advice linked to developing mental skills and attitudes is so important. A great example is Russell Wilson- he has worked at this off the field, so that he can ‘just play’ on it!

How do you start with that process?

First, it should be determined how ‘mentally skillful’ an athlete is, and then collaboratively find ways to continually get mentally sharper in order to eliminate fine-focus errors.

I see it is as developing a strategy to ensure that you are the best possible you each and every week. As an athlete, finding comfort in the knowledge that you are preparing in the best way possible for YOU is a huge key! And that is so individual, I would advise and develop completely different ways of going about that process, dependent on the player’s individual personality.

So, just how do you determine someone’s mental fitness?

Having spoken to many athletes over the years, I believe I have a great handle on assessing the level of someone’s mental skills and mental health. Anecdotally, I’m able to see patterns from how people talk and conduct themselves- and I also use inventories if that’s what the athlete wants. I use a method called the TAIS, which was introduced to me by my colleague Dr. Michelle Pain.

I have undertaken programs of study at ‘the mecca’ of healthcare- the world-famed Harley Street, and have carried that forth, and distilled my education into a very practical and solution focused, rather than an overly theoretical MO.

How can someone help themself?

One very simple step that an athlete can take immediately is to:

1- think about your best performances
2- think about your worst performances
3- think about how you prepared leading to the best performances
4- think about how you prepared leading to the worst performances
5- determine if there is a relationship between your preparation and your performances
6- apply more of what led to the best
7- do less of what led to the worst

 I do believe that this model can apply to pretty much any context – Sports, Work or Life!

I have spoken to athletes for hours to get the above exactly right- and it’s amazing for me as a practitioner to have an athlete tell me that due to our work together, they’ve had a eureka moment! They will often say something like- This is it! I identify with this! This is MY way! To help them get to that is wonderful!

Thanks Rich, if anyone wants to reach out, can they do so?

Happy to help if my capacity allows.  People can e-mail me at rich.dean@talk21.com

Evidence Proves Exercising Is Best In The Morning

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We all know that we should be exercising regularly.  The guidance provided by doctors, nutritionists, and others shows that study after study proves being physically fit and active is one of the biggest keys to leading a long and healthy life.

One thing not all people in the know agree on, however, is when the best time to exercise actually is. This debate is most often split into two camps.  Two camps that are very forceful about their beliefs with the point of contention being whether it is better to exercise before or after breakfast. That is why a new study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism is being deep-dived by those in the exercise industry.

The study – conducted over six weeks by scientists from the University of Bath and University of Birmingham in England – took a group of 30 men and split them into before breakfast exercisers, after breakfast exercisers, and a control group who kept their daily routines the same. The findings were shocking, discovering that those men who exercised before breakfast and before they started their day actually burned twice as much fat as those who fuelled up before their workout.

Dr. Javier Gonzalez from the University of Bath explained the findings as such. “Our results suggest that changing the timing of when you eat in relation to when you exercise can bring about profound and positive changes to your overall health.”

The major changes picked up by this study were not related to weight loss. The order of breakfast and exercise didn’t impact the weight changes in the participants at all, but those that exercised first saw immediate changes to their health that included a lower risk of heart disease and diabetes. It also showed that those participants were better able to regulate their blood sugar and that their insulin response was improved.

These kinds of studies are important for individuals because the guidance of when to exercise is just as important as knowing that exercise is effective in the first place. Armed with knowledge like this, a person will be able to better plan their workouts, hitting the gym in the morning to gain the best benefits and health boosts from the work that they put in. Exercising is often as much about efficiency as anything else, and following the guidelines in this study is a way to immediately make your exercise plan more efficient.

 

Article by Vital Guidance